Date: Thursday, July 31, 2008
Time: 8:39 PM
Title:
Time: 8:39 PM
Title:
It's the air I breathe, and a place to rest my head .
It's a rainy day. it's a rainy rainy day and i am not in one of my best moods. i need a place to go. i need a place to go for days like this, days when i need to get away from the familiarity of everything around me and just everything. all of school, and the thoughts that are circling around my head about school and family and best friend and just everything. i need a place to get away from everything. i want to have a house on like some deserted island and whenever i need to, i go there. i go there and i will meet the one person who i need to at that time. whether it's my best friend, or anyone else, that person will be there. for me. and i will feel better.
doesn't it give you an ache in your chest to see the day passing just like that, to feel life being taken away from you by the second. to know that with every minute that has passed, that's one minute less in life. that's one day shorter of your life. and what did you waste it on? nothing. not even spending time with a friend you haven't talked to for a long time, or studying. which sounds kind of pathetic, studying. because life would be kind of pathetic if it's all about studying right. but yeah studying rather than wasting time doing nothing. doesn't it ache you, that life is getting shorter and shorter and there's nothing we can do about it. we can't just decide to put everything down and go somewhere on a road trip, because that's not how life works. which kind of.. sucks.
why do people go weird on you sometimes. why, all of a sudden, they change. they act different, talk to you a little different, just be different around you. whether it's less friendly or more, it's always distressing and always leads to something else right. why, why does it happen. why can't things remain the same all the time, and never change. it's kind of depressing to know that things will always change, nothing ever remains the same.i don't want to finish school. i don't want to have to go through a 'last day of school' with anyone, at all. i don't even want to contemplate going to another school which god knows what it would be because i still have no idea what i want to do after bp, i just don't want to move on in life. which sounds really pathetic and a lot like what a small kid would say but f it, i really really badly do not want time to keep moving. i want to do the same things everyday, with the same people. and i don't mind that i would be getting no where in life, that's cool with me. for what i get in school, for the people that i love who i get to see everyday and spend new days with, for the fun and laughter i get with them. i don't mind not moving along with life, i'm cool right here, where i am.
what happens when you stop talking to someone. not on purpose, not because you're fighting or on bad terms. just.. because. because life got in the way. because it's easier to say 'i'm busy' rather than try to get things okay again. because time is passing much too fast for our liking and we have our own things going on in our own lives. because we just don't make the effort anymore. what happens, when everything that could happen to cause a little lost communication to occur, actually happen. what happens, when even keeping in touch becomes too much to do. and it's not even our fault, i'm not saying it's entirely the world's fault i'm just saying.. life sucks when it comes to helping us get on our feet. because when people disappear, we need life to just stop for a minute. stop, so that we have the time to rush over and give a hug because we've missed someone. so that we can share a drink together, hang out, catch up, actually catch up not meaningless talk about nothing, but catch up. just so that for those few hours, everything is right again, you don't feel like dying so much. just for that amount of time, you were happy.
today, feels alot like. standing alone, in the middle of nowhere. feeling depressed. and then, it starts to rain.
doesn't it give you an ache in your chest to see the day passing just like that, to feel life being taken away from you by the second. to know that with every minute that has passed, that's one minute less in life. that's one day shorter of your life. and what did you waste it on? nothing. not even spending time with a friend you haven't talked to for a long time, or studying. which sounds kind of pathetic, studying. because life would be kind of pathetic if it's all about studying right. but yeah studying rather than wasting time doing nothing. doesn't it ache you, that life is getting shorter and shorter and there's nothing we can do about it. we can't just decide to put everything down and go somewhere on a road trip, because that's not how life works. which kind of.. sucks.
why do people go weird on you sometimes. why, all of a sudden, they change. they act different, talk to you a little different, just be different around you. whether it's less friendly or more, it's always distressing and always leads to something else right. why, why does it happen. why can't things remain the same all the time, and never change. it's kind of depressing to know that things will always change, nothing ever remains the same.i don't want to finish school. i don't want to have to go through a 'last day of school' with anyone, at all. i don't even want to contemplate going to another school which god knows what it would be because i still have no idea what i want to do after bp, i just don't want to move on in life. which sounds really pathetic and a lot like what a small kid would say but f it, i really really badly do not want time to keep moving. i want to do the same things everyday, with the same people. and i don't mind that i would be getting no where in life, that's cool with me. for what i get in school, for the people that i love who i get to see everyday and spend new days with, for the fun and laughter i get with them. i don't mind not moving along with life, i'm cool right here, where i am.
what happens when you stop talking to someone. not on purpose, not because you're fighting or on bad terms. just.. because. because life got in the way. because it's easier to say 'i'm busy' rather than try to get things okay again. because time is passing much too fast for our liking and we have our own things going on in our own lives. because we just don't make the effort anymore. what happens, when everything that could happen to cause a little lost communication to occur, actually happen. what happens, when even keeping in touch becomes too much to do. and it's not even our fault, i'm not saying it's entirely the world's fault i'm just saying.. life sucks when it comes to helping us get on our feet. because when people disappear, we need life to just stop for a minute. stop, so that we have the time to rush over and give a hug because we've missed someone. so that we can share a drink together, hang out, catch up, actually catch up not meaningless talk about nothing, but catch up. just so that for those few hours, everything is right again, you don't feel like dying so much. just for that amount of time, you were happy.
today, feels alot like. standing alone, in the middle of nowhere. feeling depressed. and then, it starts to rain.